Blog Post: Back On My Bullshit

The Mogul's Blog:

18 April 2018 - Back on My Bullshit.

It's been a while, but here we are again.

With the world possibly on the brink of WWIII and the largest superpowers in the world being run by idiots and psychopaths it has never been an easier time the be megalomaniacal super villain. So, since we finally have some downtime at the hollowed out volcano lair known as Castle Mogul, it's time to get watching and talking about films again.

I will now be posting (semi)regular updates to this blog with the latest film news, rumours, trailers and my most likely terrible opinions on each. More importantly we will be hosting reviews of the big new releases from myself (and occasionally my henchmen/women too).

So, let's do this. Scroll down to see what has been happening the movie world right now.


Reviews:

Last weekend I ventured out for a marathon of horror and murder, seeing A Quiet Place, Ghost Stories & Thoroughbreds and got back home in time for Masterchef!

A Quiet Place is the new horror film set in a world where the heroes must move about in absolute silence to avoid being set upon by ferocious monsters (a set-up which mostly reminds me of trying to sneak to the bathroom on a Sunday morning without waking my insane hellhounds). It stars the ever wonderful Emily Blunt and was co-written, directed and co-stars John Krasinski, who is best known for playing Jim in the American Office (no, really). Click the below poster for my full review:

Jim's British counterpart Tim is also dipping his toes into horror cinema this week as Martin Freeman appears in new British horror movie Ghost Stories. This is a dark anthology of spooky tales written and directed by the League of Gentlemen's Jeremy Dyson and Derren Brown's co-writer and producer Andy Nyman (who also stars). My full review of it is below:

And lastly we have Thoroughbreds, a nasty little psychological drama/thriller come social satire from newcomer director Cory Finley. It stars Split's Anya Taylor-Joy and features one of the (sadly) final performances from the late, great Anton Yelchin. My review is below:

Each film offered different varieties of darkness. (Although I'd still argue that the most terrifying thing I've seen all weekend was Nawamin's 'Crab Anatomy' on Masterchef. Hannibal would be proud.)

In Cinemas:

If you require further gruesomeness then this Friday sees the release of both Wildling and Truth or Dare (has April overtaken October as International Horror Film month without anyone telling me?). Wilding is about a young girl who is discovered living in captivity who, after being freed, makes some disturbing discoveries about the stories she has been told since childhood. (Although I'm sure you'd be pretty disturbed if your dad was Chucky himself too.) The word 'Wilding is said roughly 500 times in the trailer and never stops confusing any Game of Thrones fans in the audience. 
Truth or Dare is about a group of teenagers who get drawn into a deadly game of Truth or Dare with a demon who will kill them if they don't tell the truth or complete the deadly dares. It's looks exactly as dumb as that sounds. Click the posters below if you want to see the trailers for yourself:

Also out this week is The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, which is somehow an actual film that exists (even though it must have been named by the person as Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium, The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus and The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel.) It's a film that touches on the occupation of Guernsey by German troops during WWII but seems more focussed on small town rumour mills. The dramatic climax point of the trailer revolves around the protagonist trying the awful sounding pie of the title (remember, this is a film with ACTUAL NAZIS in it but the pie gets the last shot.) Maybe it's just a poorly edited trailer but don't be surprised if on Friday your cinema's Starbucks is filled with Daily Mail readers demanding to see the manager because they didn't get a digestive biscuit with their cup of tea. The trailer is below if you're curious:

Amazingly, somehow, this isn't even the worst looking trailer out at the moment for a film about a Book Club. Click that link at your own peril! You have been warned.

(Also still on release: Black Panther, Blockers, Isle of Dogs, Love, Simon, Peter Rabbit, Rampage, Ready Player One)

Newest Trailers:

Even a total monster such as myself still enjoys a good film about superheroism so I'm quite excited that we are finally getting a long overdue sequel to one of the greatest superhero films ever made (and arguably the closest thing we've ever got to a good Fantastic Four movie) with The Incredibles 2. It's great seeing this perfect voice cast returning to their roles and I can't wait to dive back into Pixar's brilliantly realised comic book world (although hopefully the film's plot has a bit more going on in it than the slightly out of date sexist trope that mothers returning to work is somehow controversial and that dad's are somehow incapable of caring for their own kids properly. I have faith.)

Speaking of revisiting classic characters we also have a brand new trailer for the new Han Solo prequel movie Solo: A Star Wars Story. A lot more of the look and tone of this film's world is on show in here than it was in the fairly underwhelming teaser trailer but I'm still not quite convinced. I still love the casting of Donald Glover as a young Lando (could we not have just got a Lando/Chewie prequel film?) but I'm hoping that Alden Ehrenreich does a better job of capturing the roguish charm of a young Harrison Ford than he seems to have in the clips released. Would that it were so simple?

For those looking for something a bit sillier a trailer has been released for The Meg, the new film starring Jason Statham as a man tasked with with stopping a humungous prehistoric Megalodon shark from eating everyone. As shocking as it is that Hollywood is now stealing plot ideas from Asylum pictures at least this is a film which seems to be fully aware of how daft it is. If this film doesn't climax with The Stath simply headbutting the giant shark into submission I'll be sorely disappointed.

Speaking of films which look enjoyably silly we have Hotel Artemis which is an action movie set in a hotel which is secretly a field hospital and neutral no-fly-zone for gangsters and killers but whose owner/head nurse has problems after a particularly nasty mob boss decides to break all the rules after one of the patients steals something very valuable to him. So far so 'straight-to-DVD' John Wick knock-off' and we wouldn't have paid it any attention if the trailer wasn't full of fun little details. Did we tell you the mob boss is named 'The Wolf King?' Did we tell you the owner is played Jodie Foster?! Did we tell you Sofia Boutella, Dave Bautista and Charlie Day all make an appearance? Did we tell you that The Wolf King is played by JEFF FUCKING GOLDBLUM?!! Click the trailer, you know you want to.

And finally we have the newest trailer for Oceans 8, the all-female reboot of the George Clooney/Brad Pitt/Everyone else heist movie trilogy. Sandra Bullock is a good pick for Danny Ocean's equally cunning sister (although I can't help but wonder why he never asked her to help out with any of his previous schemes). I'm not quite persuaded that Gary Ross could bring as much charm and humour to the heist series that Steven Soderbergh did but with a great cast including Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Paulson and a particularly badass looking Cate Blanchett then I'm hoping the film live up to it's potential.

Other News:


Unfortunately the Grim Reaper has been busy of late so we unfortunately must begin this issue's news catch up with a few obituaries.

Firstly we mourn the sad passing of R. Lee Ermey. Most known for playing the harsh, shouty Drill Sergeant in Full Metal Jacket he also endeared himself to another generation as the harsh, shouty plastic Sergeant in Toy Story but what he lacked in range he made up for in sheer force of personality and unparalleled screen presence. He was 75.

We also recently lost celebrated Czech film director Milos Forman. Losing both his parents to the Holocaust and then living under Communist oppression, Forman celebrated a certain anti-authoritarian zeal and anarchic satire across his film career. He is best known for the brilliant One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest as well as for Amadeus, The People Vs Larry Flynt, the musical Hair and the sneakily satirical The Fireman's Ball. We need more artists like him. He was 86.

And lastly we also lost veteran actor and comedian Harry Anderson. Starting his career as a magician, Anderson brought stage presence and humour to all his roles. Best known for his lead role on the US TV series Night Court as well as playing the adult Richie Tozier in the original miniseries of Stephen King's It. Over at Castle Mogul we best remember him for his brilliant recurring role as con man Harry 'The Hat' on Cheers. He was 65.

Speaking of Richie Tozier, the casting of the sequel to Andy Muschietti's It adaption is starting to come together with Jessica Chastain now confirmed as the adult Beverly Marsh and with James McAvoy and Bill Hader in talks to play Bill Denbrough and Richie Tozier (respectively). Let's hope they do Harry proud.

We also have news that Tom Hardy's next role with be that of an ageing, syphilitic Al Capone in Fonzo, the new film from Josh Trank, the troubled director of the recent disastrous Fantastic Four adaption. We're not really sure how to react to this one.

We have also received reports that Carrie Coon will be playing the role of Thanos' henchman Proxima Midnight in Avengers: Infinity War. Coon has recently impressed on the small screen with great roles in The Leftovers and the most recent season of Fargo so hopefully she gets given more to work with than other 'recent great TV alums turned disappointing Marvel villains' Mads Mikkelsen and Corey Stoll.

And Finally:

Mogulamania is not the only comeback happening in the film review world. My arch nemeses, the heroic supergroup known as the Raptors In The Kitchen have also recently reformed and are releasing podcasts of humorous film conversation, news and reviews. If you're into movie podcasts I recommend giving them a listen for the latest film updates, hilarious nonsense and general good chat. Their newest instalment begins with a debate about the best (or worst) way a shark has been killed in a Jaws movie. Maybe they should be giving Jason Statham tips.